Wednesday

Wednesday is fight night at King Lear rehearsals.

I realized tonight that I haven't kept up my weight loss goal.

Okay, bullshit. I didn't realize that tonight, i've known it for a while. I haven't even attempted at the weight loss goal. Something to strive for over summer, I guess. With two weeks to opening night, I don't think it's gonna happen.

It's sad though. I do these fight combinations (nothing too outrageous either), and after running through it once, i'm painfully out of breathe. I didn't use to be like that. Though heavy, I used to be able to do these fights again and again and again with relative ease. Not anymore. It's not an age thing (i'm 25, almost 26), it's an out-of-shape thing.

We're getting closer and closer to opening night. I tumble toward it like a cow that's lost its footing and is now rolling down a steep hill. It's true. My indian name is "Tumbling Cow". I'll regain my footing though. These shows always seem to just fall into place in the last moments. It'll likely happen before the last moments with this one. Our cast is pretty talented. And experienced.

Experience. That's a loaded word.

I'm considering taking on a new endeavor. It's a big one, to be sure, and one that most people would not advise without some level of "experience". The question is, do I have enough? Not only that, but do I have the right kind? How much experience is enough to get a job done? How do I calculate my level of experience? I didn't finish college. Does that automatically negate my experience? Most of my experience was gained on amateur stages. Does that count toward my experience quota?

It's a frightening thing. When will enough be enough? If you think about it, the answer is never. There will never be enough. Experience must be gained through the act of experiencing, I think. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe i'll pay for my wrongness. I still think though, that experience comes from experiencing. In order to make something happen, I may have to throw my experience deficiancy to the wind, and just jump. It might hurt.

That would be an experience. Hurt. It would be an ass-kicking of an experience. You know what else would be an experience? Fun. Fun would be a really good ass-kicking of an experience. You know what both of these experiences would do? Teach me to be ready for my next experience.

You know who doesn't ever have enough experience? The President. No candidate is ever experienced enough to be president. Only ex Presidents are experienced enough to be Presidents. They've been Presidents. At one time, they weren't experienced Presidents, though. They were candidates. Inexperienced ones, too. Still, they ran for President and got the experience they needed. They didn't wait to be President before running for President. Doesn't that support my opinion of an experience?

Doesn't that count toward anything? Does my understanding that the experiences will not always (maybe rarely) be fun make any difference? I hope so. I think i'm qualified for some of the journeys I plan on taking in life. Experienced or not.